Phone Calls From Mom @ 3 a.m.

Not as funny as the title actually sounds. That is literally the worst call I've ever received in my life, May 27th, 2008. Before I tell you what the call was let me back track a bit.

Back in the fall of 2007, the beginning of my senior year in high school, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was a heavy blow, I remember getting the news and just being completely dumbfounded. There was no way my dad could have cancer, no way he could be sick. He was my dad, he was invincible....wasn't he? He was going to be around forever, see me get married and all that jazz. Well at first it seemed like it was all going to be okay. The doctor told him it wasn't wide spread and that the chemo should take care of it...at least that's what i was told. And it looked like that was going to be true, he looked like he was taking chemo well and we all had high hopes.

Fast forward to Mother's day, May 2008, fishing opener.
We have this tradition, my family (my mom, step dad, siblings and a few friends) we go camping every year on a small lake North of Park Rapids. It was cold and rainy like usual, my siblings and I were sitting around the campfire BSing. i was reading a book, not really paying attention, when I heard the words "3 months". I looked up and asked what they were talking about, they looked at me like they were afraid to say anything. i asked again and they finally told me. "The doctors say dad has 3 months to live...". I wasn't ready for that, it felt like I had just taken a sledge hammer to the chest. I couldn't breathe, I walked off into the woods away from everyone, it hurt like hell to ave that news tossed at me like that.

Saturday May 24th, 2008. My grad party, the day before graduation.
I woke up Saturday morning to my mom telling me to get my butt out of bed, typical Saturday morning. What wasn't so typical was her telling me that I have to go over to my dad's house to get all the stuff for my grad party. Why did I have to do that? Wasn't he coming out here? Evidently my dad was too sick from the cancer and the chemo treatments, he couldn't get out of bed without help, so much as come to the party. So I drove out to his place to get all the supplies he had picked up. When I got there I was stunned, I felt like breaking down right there. My dad was hooked up to an oxygen tank, sitting in his chair with his head back, eyes half closed. He was bone thin, the chemo had kicked his ass bad. He could hardly move, and I don't honestly think he even saw me when we were talking. His fiance told me she would get him to the graduation ceremony the next morning. I hugged him and told him I loved him. I left for home, feeling numb the whole drive back.

Sunday May 25th, 2008. Graduation.
Sunday morning was hectic, my family was all there for graduation. I left early to get to the school and get set up. The ceremony rolls around...no dad. He couldn't make it, he was so sick he couldn't get up. I understood, I knew how bad things were. We went out to his house after graduation and saw him again, he looked even worse than the day before, I got a few pictures with him and told him I loved him again.

Monday May 26th, 2008.
A few friends and myself had some plans for Tuesday we were going to spend the day doing what we do best, Gameday. We planned to spend the day playing video games while everyone else was still in school. So Monday night we all headed over to his house with our stuff and crashed on the couch/floor for the night.

And that brings us to
Tuesday May 27th, 2008. 3 a.m.
I woke up to the sound of my friend's parents coming down the stairs. I knew it was late, and I knew she had a phone in her hand, I knew right away what was going on. "mom?" I already knew what she was going to say. Dad was dead, he had passed away about an hour before she called, his fiance had told my mom. And there I sat, on the couch in my friend's basement, crying harder than I thought I could, feeling empty. That night was the hardest night of my life, knowing there was nothing I could do, knowing I was never going to see my dad again. Knowing that in the morning my brother would be taking me out to the house to say goodbye. i don't know if I actually fell asleep again, or if I just sat there in the dark. All I remember is getting up in the morning, waiting for my brother. Watching them take my dad's body out of the house was like watching them tear away a piece of me.

Today marks three years since he passed away, and to this day I still miss him. I still wish that when something big happens in my life I could call him and tell him, hear his voice just one last time. I want to hug him and go skiing with him again. I know I'll never stop missing him, but the pain lessens and I remember good times with him. I know that he's not in pain anymore, for which I'm thankful. I would do anything to have him back in my life, but all I can do is remember him as he was.

For any of you out there who have lost someone close to you, I know it hurts and I know it's hard, but everything gets better in time. Grieve for them, but just remember to live for them and enjoy every second of life.

Awesome News!

Welcome back readers, sorry I've been gone so long. But good news! I'm finally moved into my new place, unpacked and settled down, ready to get into blogging mode!

So I've recently recieved some rather exciting news in my life. I started working for a company called Z-Wireless back in November, starting off I was a little hesitant, thinking i wouldn't really fit in too well. But after three months of leading the sales out of our 5 stores I was getting pretty confident. The owners have now added two more stores to their ranks and guess who still leads, this guy.

The manager of the store I work at is actually a relative of mine, she was the one who initially got me my job, I trained in and was ready (according to her) faster than anyone she had trained. After working with her for a few months she's had me cover a lot of duties here in the store and I've done pretty well, she's spread the word to the higher ups and they've listened. (this is all going somewhere, i promise)

Starting back in December (after working here for only a month) the owners started sending me around to some of their other stores in other towns, to cover shifts, train in new employees and straighten out some issues our already established stores have been having.

I realize this sounds like I'm bragging, but I think right now I have the right to.

So the owners have been batting around the idea to put in a store in my old home town, this was just a rumor our district manager had told me, he said if it did happen he had recommended to the owners that I be the one running it. I was excited, but for a while it didn't seem like it was going to be happening. But it has been confirmed, and I will be running our newest store, running it alone I might add.

We'll be opening hopefully in the next month, once licenses are granted and rent for store space is agreed upon. We'll be opening anywhere from the end of April to mid May, so any of you readers who know where I'm from, I'll keep you posted on when we're opening, so stop in!

Pissed at Pepsi

Sorry for the absence guys, between packing/moving, court dates (witness, not the offender), and a large amount of driving for my job, it's been pretty hectic. That and I haven't really had anything particularly exciting to rant about, but guess what, I found something.

There are a lot of people in my area going on and on about the fact that Pepsi is releasing a new patriotic can that has The Pledge of Allegiance on it, now the people are in an uproar because, allegedly, Pepsi omitted the words "Under God" on the can and people are pissed. First off, let me start by saying, it's not happening, Pepsi is not planning on releasing any such can. It's not in the playbook.

I know this hoax has been around for a few years now, but lately I've noticed a sudden growth in the number of people talking about it, like it's some new thing out there, like all of a sudden after two years people want to make a damn scene again. Which sort of brings me to my next point. Who gives a damn? America was supposed to be the country where we could escape from having religion pushed on us, I mean, didn't our ancestors come here to escape from over-bearing religious sects? So why now are we trying to force the "Under God" on the people of America? I understand it's something put in by the founding fathers and part of our history, blah blah blah, but it's time to move on. It's time for us to evolve as a people and come to accept that religion is growing less and less important to our overall society. And for the record, I've been omitting under god since the 5th grade.

So I guess what I'm saying here is, let's not make a big deal over something as small as two words. There are many other things we can fight about, like who would win between Commander/Admiral Bill Adama and Captain Malcolm Reynolds....but seriously, who wins? What do you guys think? And I mean as far as overall leadership goes, not just in a 1-on-1 fight....but that too, you know what, just give me your opinions on both.

In Other News

So, it's been a long week everybody, and the it looks like it's going to stay that way. With the nuclear reactors in Japan leaking and people running in to patch the electrical lines so they can start pumping water to cool it. These people are rushing in and gettting exposed to the strong radiation coming from the reactor, in essence these people are sacrificing themselves to save Japan and possibly the U.S. from possible fallout. And now it looks as though two more of the reactors are going to be facing similar prooblems. Japan has Taken a pretty harsh blow from all of this, and a lot of people have lost their lives, and I can't begin to imagine the terror they felt as they were being swept away by this massive wave, and the after effects as buildings fell and homes were washed off of their foundations. It's a rough time for Japan, and it's going to be a long time before things get better.

On a happier note, a ceasefire has been called in Libya. Libya's foreign minister, Moussa Koussa (chuckle) has called an immediate military ceasefire. Now in my opinion, it's all because the UN, Arab Emirates and The Arab League have announced the decision to fully support the 'no fly zone'. But hey, if we scared them into a ceasefire that's fine with me, as long as people stop dying and some order is returned. And now we don't have to turn their air defenses and military outposts into parking lots and craters. Now, it's technically an 'immediate' ceasefire, but it will take a few days to fully enact it. So we'll get reports of some minor fighting for a while, but hopefully soon things will settle down again. We can only hope.

Thanks for stopping in everyone, come back soon.

Back Again

Hey everybody. Sorry for the extended break this weekend, I spent the time with some friends of mine doing what we do best....you know, video games.
Anyway, I recently took my girlfriend to watch the movie 'Red Riding hood'. Let me start by saying, the movie wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be. It wasn't spectacular, but it wasn't dreadful. Now I had a rather funny experience seeing this movie, you might not find it so, but I had to share. One of the characters in it is played by Michael Hogan. Who the hell is that? You ask. He plays Colonel Saul Tigh in the tv series 'Battlestar Galactica'. I chuckled a bit when he came on screen and evidently wasn't the only BSG fan there. A guy a few rows back from me yelled (spoiler for any BSG fans not far in the series) "Don't trust that fraking cylon!" I nearly tore my abdomen laughing. My girlfriend obviously thought I had lost it and rolled her eyes, but hey, it made me giggle.
The next best part of this movie (spoiler for RRH fans), aside from the fact that Amanda Seyfried is ridiculously hot, is the fact that Colonel Tigh totally gets his ass torn to shreds by the werewolf, just completely obliterated by this BAMF. I chuckled so much I kind of felt a little demented. Throw in the fact that Bella Swan's dad is a psycho kiler beast (eff any of you who give me shit for that line, give me a break, I know my actors and all that they've been in) and all in all it wasn't a bad movie. Again, not the best movie, but don't completely rule it out if you've got a girl you want to take out.
Take my wisdom and go forth....yeah that sounded like I thought I was god...oh well, do it anwway world.
Thanks again for reading.
ps check out my friends blog, he's got some good s*** over there. Here it is http://whatmuffinthinks.blogspot.com/
just do it....you'll enjoy it

Get out of my head

Hey guys. So, do you ever have one of those days when you hear a song, a song you haven't heard in a long time, and it just won't leave you alone? Well today is one of those days. The song is 'Inside Out' by Eve 6. Yeah, not exactly one of the greatest songs known to man, but catchy as hell no matter what you say. And I've tried getting it out of my head, drowning it out with some of my faves, Metallica, Rise Against, even some MJ. But this damn song will not get out of my head. I need some help readers, what do I do?

Okay, let's get down to the actual business that brought you all here. It's actually been in the news for a while now, but people in the Westboro Baptist Church have been protesting military funerals, and I want to start off by saying F*$# you. What in the hell gives you the right to stand around and shout things like "god hates you" and "you're going to hell" at the funeral of a man who has done nothing but fight for your right to live and speak freely? Well (and this is where I lose faith in our government), evidently the supreme court has ruled that it is perfectly fine for you to stand in and protest a military funeral. As if it isn't bad enough that these family members have to stand here and put there son/father/brother/sister/mother/daughter/friend in the ground, but now you are there screaming that they are going to burn in hell? These families are already going through enough, don't protest the funeral, protest the war, somewhere away from the burial you self-righteous pricks. You people are one of the reasons that I (as previously stated in past posts) am against religion. Keep it to yourself and leave the rest of us to our own private peace.

As if the protests themselves aren't bad enough, I recently watched a video of this group singing a parody of the song 'We Are the World'. They change the song to 'God Hates the World' and change the lyrics to fit. You people need to get a life and stop hating on the entire world.

Sorry guys, I promise my next post won't have anything to do with religion or the like. So don't let this post dissuade you from reading more, thanks again.

But seriously, how do I get this song out of my head?

Quiznos and Christ?

So on occasion my boss sends me down to one of our stores in another town to give the one person that works down there a day off. Now I don't mind the extra 35 minute drive there and then back again, because it keeps me from getting stuck in the same place bored for too long. There is a Quiznos in the same little strip mall that our store is located in, so usually when I go down there I pop over to Quiznos to grab a soda and a bag of chips to go with the lunch I bring. This day was slightly different though.

I headed over there around 11:45 (gotta be a bit ahead of the lunch rush) and outside of Quiznos there was a man holding a bible and shouting at the top of his lungs that Christ was angry at everyone stuffing their faces. So as he was ranting on and on about gluttony and all that BS I was calmly strolling past him to the door. This idiot decided to make the stupid mistake of stepping in front of me and yelling in my face that God was going to strike me down for gluttony. Me? the guy who was just going in to get a bag of chips and a soda? Well folks, you may not know this about me, but I'm an atheist. I've never believed in a divine power, but normally I have no problem with other people and their views on God, as long as you don't try to push your beliefs on someone else, you're fine in my book. But this asshole had to go and push his luck, he stands in front of me yelling about the power of God and how evil I am, that was too far. So I yelled back, shouting him down word for word,  and in the end I came across with the line every christian hates to hear, "I'm atheist, and nothing you say can ever change that." It shut him up pretty quick and he stomped off flustered and angry.

Now, to be completely honest, I don't feel good about the fact that I made this guy angry and that I threw it all in his face. I usually pride myself on the fact that I don't actually argue very often over religion, if you stay out of my life, I'll stay out of yours. But in this particular case, I really had no choice. But I'm also not going to say that I felt absolutely bad about it either, after all the owner of Quiznos gave me a free sub and meal for running the guy off, because, let's face it, a man shouting about gluttony in front of a restaraunt is bad for business.

What's the point of this story? You ask. Please keep your religious views to yourself. I've got nothing against you or your beliefs, but too many wars have been fought over religion. Wars that wouldn't have been fought if we could all just think for ourselves and know when to be quiet.

Well, enough ranting from me today, thanks readers.